Valentines’ Day – loved by some, loathed by others. Our Family Law team certainly enjoyed it earlier this week! As did florists across the land.
It’s only a day after all – or is it?
A recent study claimed that people who got married on so called gimmick days – such as Valentine’s Day – were more likely to end up divorced. According to a team at the University of Melbourne, Valentine’s Day and days such as 9/9/99 or 1/2/03 were hugely popular wedding dates.
Dr Jan Kabatek and Professor David Ribar acknowledge that it’s not the date itself that increases a couple’s vulnerability but rather what the choice of date reveals about the couple. It is argued that couples who marry on special dates perhaps have less in common and as such are more likely to end up in a divorce.
Can that possibly be true?!
I can’t say that in my time as a trainee solicitor in the Blackadders Family Law team that I’ve seen a high proportion of divorces where the date of marriage was Valentine’s day or any other gimmick day.
I wondered if the same rationale would apply to gimmicky wedding venues or themes, but again I can’t say I’ve noticed a propensity for divorce amongst those married by an Elvis impersonator in Las Vegas. Or maybe clients don’t expose these darkest secrets to their lawyer…
Either way, my advice is to take no notice of this “fake news”!
I think that days like Valentine’s Day do cause people to consider their relationship and reflect on their future together. This is verified by another study which suggests that there is a statistical spike in the number of relationships ending in the days around Valentine’s Day. I wonder if that is just part of the much publicised post-Christmas spike in separations that supposedly inundate Family Lawyers every January.
If you have recently separated then here are a few simple pieces of advice to follow:
A Survival Guide
- Don’t listen to well-meaning friends and relatives. Whether they’ve been through a divorce or not, no two cases are the same, nor are the people involved in the relationship.
- If you are considering a divorce, see a lawyer for some initial advice on the process involved. Even if you are not ready to progress things, initial advice can help put your mind at rest. Remember a lawyer is not going to be emotionally attached to the situation like you and your well-meaning friends.
- Stay off social media. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and other social media can provide people with a minefield of problems. Remember once you post something online it can be used as evidence. Aggravating, threating and insulting posts can be quite damning in a divorce or child custody case.
“Roses are red, violets are blue, when you need family law advice…we are here to help you!”